Silliest use of technology ever?

audi-OH!Bedroom Pleasures sells vibrators. I thought you might like to know where this is going, in case such subjects are distasteful to you. Vibrators: read no further if sex toys are not acceptable material.

OK, a vibrator causes sexual pleasure by applying a LOT more stimulation to very sensitive nerve endings than you can otherwise generate with fingers or tongue. Ingenuity knows no limits: people have placed tiny electric motors in large dildos, tiny bean-sized eggs, and even in devices that fit into the pierced hole in your tongue (if you have a pierced tongue).

Generally, they come in two forms: wired and wireless. The wireless ones are sewn into underwear, and the idea is to embarrass your favoured partner by inducing sexual ecstacy when they are otherwise occupied. Steve Roberts once described fixing up a traditional butterfly with a wireless remote control which his partner wore in public, and he gleefully related how he caused her to collapse at the knees by turning it on when she was chatting at parties, or in a bar.

This one is neither.

OK, it’s wired in the sense that the victim of the prank has to carry the batteries in a box which is wired to the vibrating unit. But there’s no “press this button to squirm” control. Instead, the system is voice-activated.

Yes, voice-activated. “How would your favourite song feel? Now you can find out. Audi-Oh is a clever piece of kit, buzzing rather vigorously to the sound of your partner’s words, your favourite music or any unexpected sound it picks up via its microphone or via an attached MP3 or CD player.”

audi-ohI suppose there’s some ironic delight in a piece of kit which- when you say: “No, no! Stop! Please!” – takes this as instructions to do it again…


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