Nasty sluts, simple nudes, and good taste in sex

“Image kindly donated by Domai” it says. It’s one of those things which Eolake likes: “simple nudes” which, he insists, are neither Art, nor Erotica.

Domai, when I discovered it, I assumed was one of those clever domain names – you know, like http://www.therogister.co.uk/ instead of theregister in the hope that you’ll browse to the wrong one. Domain.com, I thought, with the “n” missing from the end.

Not a bit of it. As you can tell from the image, DOMAI  stands for “Dirty Old Man’s Association International” and it’s self-mocking. Eolake actually waxes extraordinarily lyrical about the beauty of young women, and he has nothing against either porn, or Art – he just likes something that is neither.

As far as I can tell, most of the difference between “simple nudes” and “erotica” is that  mostly, the girls keep their knees together. Or, if they don’t, they allow a casual hand to hide their giblets.

By contrast with Domai, the girls of MeTart (which stands for Most Erotic Teens ART, apparently) convulse themselves into giblet displays – both sets of labia exposed, up close, in front of the camera, at four million bytes per picture so that you can actually see if their mucus membranes are stimulated (and if you doubt me, visit Hegre and search for “veroni ready” and you’ll see that some girls really are turned on by being photographed nude – left).

If you like giblets (and I think we all do the first time) you can sign up for a (free) weekly MeTart newsletter which provides a panorama of vulvarity – and after a month of that, I suspect you’ll get what Eolake is on about.

Nudity bothers a lot of people. Half of them are bothered because they only ever see other people nude when they are about to have sex with them, and therefore associate disrobing with “goings on” – and of course, most of us, without our clothes on, are not images of erotic splendour. You could be forgiven for being alarmed if a nice old lady started stripping, and your experience of stripping was entirely erotic. Are you expected to “perform” at this point? But you’re not that sort of girl!

And it bothers a lot of other people simply because they think sex is unpleasant. And that does bother me. An awful lot of my browsing amongst rude web sites has convinced me that these people actually embrace the degradation which they perceive in copulation. They refer to people who desire sex as “sluts” and as “nasty” – and it’s not always self-mocking.

It goes all the way down to people who honestly don’t enjoy the touch of a lover who simply  strokes their soft bits. They need to be degraded; tied up, humiliated, even mutilated. Some of the things my researcher sent me – things he seemed to regard as “good clean fun” – really made me feel ill. I can’t tell you too much about them; I simply had to press “STOP” as quickly as I could. But not in time to prevent my realising that the woman having her breasts nailed to a plank was not faking it…

Domai isn’t like that. But that doesn’t stop my feeling that this “it’s not erotic” disclaimer is code for something else. What else? OK, I’ll try to explain. Try this “testimonial” from a subscriber:

“The young women portrayed are absolutely beautiful, tasteful and honor the beauty of the female form. […] The membership, affordable — the images… outstanding. It is truly rewarding to find a site that treats women with dignity and respect. Each time I view your offerings, I sit back in awe of the beauty of a woman, and the artists that captures it on film.”

Good taste. I really can’t see that there’s anything other than taste, really, to distinguish between “tasteful nudes” and “porn” – the one is subtler, less grossly anatomical, less wet, less slimy. Yes, there are some other differences: the girls of Domai are posed in stances which, mostly, are the sort of position you’d stand in for a holiday snap by the waterfall, or on the beach. The wenches of MeTart, by contrast, are preparing for frank examination – and however lovely their faces, or perfect their figures, they are definitely not “ladylike” and if you adopted such a pose, however carefully dressed, your Aunt Agatha would say: “Jim, DEAR!” Legs down, please!”

Different cultures, of course, treat these things with different judgements. In Italy, I’ve watched men adjust their garments. They’re doing what all men have to do when their dangly bits are uncomfy; untangle them from the trousers. In London, you do this surreptitiously. In Rome, you do it ostentatiously. Taste, as they say, varies.

What’s wrong with that? then?

Well, nothing intrinsically, perhaps. You follow the mores of your culture. But there is a pragmatic issue, I think – and it has to do with stimulation.

The first time you are exposed to erotic images, your body responds. “Nudity! – better prepare for stimulation of the erogenous zones! That attractive person wants to touch me there!” – and that arousal is a pleasure.

But evolution doesn’t want empty pleasure. If the arousal is not followed by actual physical stimulation, and finally, climax, a little watchdog makes a note: “Don’t waste energy on this.”

That’s how nudists cope. Even if, first time out, they find the sight of skin arousing, it quickly becomes apparent that if you want to have sex, you have to do rather more than take your clothes off. You probably have to buy drinks, strike up conversation, and flirt. The link between “naked” and “bonking” is broken, and nudity ceases to be erotic.

I think that a “simple nude” allows that gentle arousal to persist. It’s not a direct assault; it’s just a pretty image, which doesn’t force the dirty old man into erection, only to disappoint. Instead, it provides a background image for when climax is approaching, either alone, or in company. You close your eyes, and imagine… and for some, that imagination is friendlier, and… well, nicer!

And for others, of course, the ladies of MeTart are more stimulating. At least, at first. But I suspect that doesn’t last, and that they will search for “stronger” images.

This, sadly, is why people are afraid of pornography. They are aware that it wears thin, and that you want stuff more explicit. And, ashamed of what they move on to, they fear that they will eventually move onto harder and harder, and end up wanting genuinely nasty stuff; and that – one day – images will not be enough, and they will want to start behaving in perverse ways.

It isn’t actually like that. It’s just a fear…

But if it helps you to overcome that fear, then by all means, I think, go for Simple Nudes. It will not drive you mad with desire; it will just remind you of something nice to do. And maybe, you’ll then go to your favourite person for such activities, and remind them, too…

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